Listener Erica from Iowa called into The Bobby Bones Show seeking advice after her husband lost his parents to cancer.
When her husband was 12, he lost his father to cancer, and right before this past Christmas, he lost his mom to cancer too. He’s 25 and doesn’t like to show emotion, so Erica called in wanting to know how she should best handle it and be there for him as his wife.
Bobby Bones related how it’s hard for him to show emotion because he had to always be strong and felt like he couldn’t show he was weak no matter the situation. He developed a shell that’s hard to break through and he and his wife work through it all the time. His wife has been extra consistent with him and tells him she’s there for him and can help, and even if he ignores it every time, it helps knowing she is there for him. His best advice was for her to continue being consistent and letting him know he can be vulnerable with her. It’s all she can really do in that situation, but it helps more than she may think.
Amy suggested if there’s ever moments when he brings up his parents that she takes that opportunity to try and lean into it more and let him know she’s listening if he wants to talk about it. He may not be ready to express his feelings at that moment, and everyone griefs differently so she can’t expect him to grief in the same way she does. She said her goal as his partner should be to find out how she can help make his grief feel a little bit lighter, but it is mostly on him to open up when he feels ready.
Erica also expressed how she felt guilty that both her parents are still alive, but they explained that’s something she should not feel bad for. The best thing she can do for him is consistently be there for him and support him if he chooses to open up about his feelings.