Bill Eddy, the author of Our New World of Adult Bullies, was on The Bobby Bones Show to discuss the best way to handle adult bullies and determine if Lunchbox is one.
When asked why an adult would be a bully, Eddy explained that it’s mainly from the way the person grew up. It isn’t a decision they make, and it is more part of their personality. They like to dominate people and that’s the theme for bullies; dominating people.
Bobby Bones explained the workplace drama between Lunchbox and Abby and how he’s always picking on her for her singing. He asked if Eddy would consider Lunchbox a bully to Abby. He explained that depending on their relationship, it could be fun in a teasing way, but since Abby does not like it, she should speak up next time it happens and let Lunchbox know it bothers her and he should stop. Eddy explained the best thing to do is to not be passive when bullying happens and to stick up for yourself but not in an aggressive way.
Eddy also wrote a book about how to handle narcissists, so they asked how to deal with a bully that is also a narcissist. He explained that narcissists like to think they are superior so sometimes the best thing to do is to find something they are good at, tell them they are good at it, and that usually will calm them down. But also, to set limits and if they continue to disrespect them there will be consequences. Abby tried that approach on Lunchbox and complimented him by saying he’s good at talking. Lunchbox thanked her but said he wasn’t going to give her a compliment back and he does not care if he hurts her feelings by telling her she’s a bad singer because he’s just being honest.
Eddy explained that there is hope to change Lunchbox’s bullying ways. A cure they found is through coaching. If the bully goes through a coaching program, they usually won’t develop a totally different personality change, but it should soften the edges. After hearing everything from Eddy, Lunchbox still does not think he is a bully and that he’s just honest. He also thought Abby was more of a bully to him because she continues to sing around him when he’s expressed, he does not like it.
Eddy’s book, Our New World of Adult Bullies, comes out June 11th.