Amy recently came across something called the 7-7-7 Rule, and it instantly sparked a conversation about relationships, connection, and what’s actually realistic for most couples. The rule, in theory, sounds like the perfect formula for keeping your relationship strong: a date night every seven days, a weekend getaway every seven weeks, and a kid-free vacation every seven months.
It’s a nice idea, but as Bobby pointed out, “Who in the world can actually do this?” For most people, a weekly date night is already a stretch between busy schedules, kids, and budgets. The idea of jetting off every seven weeks for a weekend getaway sounds amazing, until you remember that life, work, and money exist. The 7-7-7 rule reportedly started as part of a celebrity couple’s effort to reconnect after infidelity. The goal was to make sure they never drifted apart again. It’s a sweet sentiment, but as Bobby joked, “It helps you stay connected if you have money.”
When you start doing the math, the rule falls apart fast. A weekend away every seven weeks adds up to nearly eight mini-trips a year, plus a vacation every seven months. Most couples are lucky if they can swing one weeklong trip annually, let alone a handful of smaller ones. The group agreed there’s some wiggle room built into the rule, it’s less about hitting the exact number and more about the intention behind it, but even then, it feels more aspirational than practical.
For Bobby, connection doesn’t have to come with a price tag or plane ticket. Back when he was constantly traveling for work, he and his wife set aside Tuesday nights as their time together. Every Tuesday from 5 to 9 p.m., no work and no distractions, it was blocked off in the calendar. He said the point wasn’t just about the date itself, but making sure his schedule didn’t completely consume him. Now that he’s home more and his wife is pregnant, they don’t have to schedule it quite so tightly, but that habit of intentional time together stuck.
Amy shared a rule of her own, one that has less to do with scheduling and more to do with self-awareness: don’t get defensive. She admitted it’s something she’s had to work on, saying, “I sort of assume the worst is being said, so I meet with defensiveness.” She’s gotten better, but it’s a reminder that good communication often comes down to managing your own reactions. With five kids between her and her boyfriend, getting out for a date is a challenge anyway. They aim for once a month, and sometimes that “date” is just grabbing dinner before one of the kids’ basketball games. “I’m glad he makes it a priority,” she said, laughing. “Because I’d probably just say, ‘Eh, I’m good.’”
Eddie’s relationship rule is all about what not to do: don’t criticize each other in front of the kids. “Because then they’ll say things like, ‘Dad says you do this,’” he said. “And you realize, oh no, they heard that from me.” Instead, he and his wife handle things later, privately. If something bothers them, they’ll wait until the kids are in bed and talk it through. “You don’t need to hash it out in front of everyone,” he said. It’s a simple principle, but one that keeps respect front and center. Amy added that she tries to follow that same rule in her co-parenting relationship with her ex-husband. Even when one of them slips up and says something they shouldn’t in front of their kids, they make a point to circle back later and apologize. “We’ve both done that,” she said. “But we call afterward and say, ‘Hey, sorry I said that in front of them.’” It’s proof that even after things get messy, owning up and communicating can make all the difference.
Lunchbox had a similar take, saying his rule is not to blame the other parent. “When the kids forget something, I can’t say, ‘Mom forgot,’” he explained. “I have to say, ‘We forgot.’” He admitted he’s not perfect at it, though. “She’s the one getting them out the door, so yeah, technically it is her fault,” he joked. “But I try to say ‘we.’”
At the end of the day, that’s what everyone agreed on: connection doesn’t come from perfection, it comes from consistency. Whether it’s scheduling a regular night to spend together, remembering to communicate with kindness, or simply showing grace in front of the kids, it’s the small, steady things that build strong relationships. The 7-7-7 rule might sound like a fantasy for most couples, but the real rule might just be this: show up, over and over again, in whatever way you can.